Yeah, I said 'your mom.' As in, "your mom goes to college." The clever retort that fits virtually any situation. I like to use this with my kids. They might say, "I ate leftover pizza." I reply, "your mom's a leftover pizza." Insert it into any conversation with your kids. They'll think it's funny at first, and then after a while they'll just roll their eyes and think you're dumb. It's great fun!
I read an article today from an old newspaper where a lady posted advice from her mom. And it was brilliant, mostly because it included things like, "white wine will do in a pinch if you are making a martini and are out of vermouth." Yay! Practical advice for everyday life!
So, I shall begin here a short list of things my kids will probably learn from me. I'm sure the real list is much longer and probably with less practical advice. Let's begin:
1. Wine is appropriate at every occasion.
2. It's ok to let the housework go a bit most days, and then have a massive freak-out about how messy the house is, and it must be rectified RIGHT THIS SECOND.
3. Moms will be sticklers about certain activities, like not letting you watch the ridiculously unrealistic show about teen pregnancy, but then will let you download a profanity-filled rap album that talks about drugs and sex. Pick your battles. (I'm not proud of this one, but I'm honest at least.)
4. It's ok to have chicken, pasta, or a combination of the two for every dinner.
5. Black always looks good on you.
6. Give too many hugs, too many kisses, say too many I love you's, and tuck your kids into bed even when they are in high school.
7. Do your best to never let a bad mood ruin a special day.
8. You can wear jeans three times before washing. Unless something gross happens.
9. Helping other people is the most important thing you can do.
10. Painted nails and cute purses are necessities for ladies.
I may have to interview my kids for a follow-up! What great lessons did you learn from your mom?