Tuesday, February 21, 2012

When Wedding Planning Stops Being Fun.

I adopted the following motto at the beginning of our wedding planning:

When it starts being not fun, we stop.

This suits both of us well, because he gets easily overwhelmed with all the wedding stuff, and because I easily become a detail-obsessed perfectionist. Not this time. We've been lucky to see this event clearly from the start: it's a day to have fun and celebrate our love in a meaningful way. Obsessing about details will suck all the fun out of it and turn the wedding into this thing that takes over our lives and leaves us disappointed and broke when it's all over. No thanks.

Here's how this plays out in real life:

We decided to find vintage plates and glassware to create our own cupcake stands. Part of the fun of this is the hunt for the perfect antique/vintage plates. But after only making our way through half of one massive antique store, we were mentally exhausted. There were hundreds of types of plates in there! And even more glassware to use as a base! We found plates we liked, and narrowed our options down to one set of glasses that were a bit more expensive than we wanted to spend. My brilliant man points out that our time and sanity is worth more than a few dollars saved, and that we were not going to have fun scouring booth after booth for countless hours. So we grabbed the glasses, paid, and have our vintage cake stands before it became un-fun. Perfect outcome!

cake stand inspiration from pinterest.com

I get so frustrated reading wedding blogs where the bride is bashing her groom for not caring or caring too much about the wedding details, or disagreeing/having an opinion about the playlist of photography budget... ladies, a man is going to vow to love and honor you forever in a few months. Either you need to decide if you can love a man eternally who clearly disagrees with the amount of importance you place on napkin rings, or you need to CHILL.  

I recently stressed a bit too much about a wedding detail, and the outcome was not good. An email from a wedding website informed me I should be addressing invitations already, and I hadn't even ORDERED any yet! After too many hours scouring websites, we came across an invite that we thought was cool, so we plugged in our info and sent the order. (Because, as the motto says, it was time to stop. I was no longer having fun looking at the 45978615 options for invites.)

In our panic of being behind schedule, and expecting the invitations to take weeks to arrive, thus pushing us back farther, I rushed a decision. I neglected to let a friend give me a quote for handmade invitations which made her angry. We forgot to consider that our minimalist invite didn't include enough info for the less tech-savvy wedding guests, which added work for us since we now have to create something else to send them. We got our invitations in three days as opposed to three weeks like anticipated, so now they are just sitting here. I should have ignored the stupid wedding website that made me freak out for no reason. (I still really like the invitations though!)

Here's my point, people: If it's not fun and exciting and romantic and meaningful, don't do it. If a wedding website tells you what to do, don't listen. If part of the wedding planning makes you want to scream at a future relative or stop speaking to your future spouse--STOP doing whatever part of the planning that is and get your act together! No one will care about your napkin rings, but they will never forget it if you are a bridezilla.

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