Not my favorite trip to the BMV.

I went to get my updated drivers license with my new married name. Apparently there's this new thing where your ID has to be "secure" which basically means they need a bunch of extra documents on top of the 4359887 other papers you already brought.

When I first got my drivers license at 16, I had my maiden name on it. Then, when I was 18, I updated it with my new last name of my former husband. I provided all your required documents then, BMV.

Now, at 32, of an actual age when you can make an educated decision on who you think you'll be with the rest of your life, I am getting my name changed for the second time.

And the BMV wants not only my birth certificate, new social security card with my new married name, and the 5 other documents including my passport that I brought, but also the marriage certificate from my FIRST marriage.

Because they need the "link" from my maiden name on my birth certificate, to my second name on my current marriage certificate that links me to this new name. So annoying. Obviously, I wasn't willing to go request that and wait 4 more weeks, so my license is not secure.

The best part of this story is that the middle aged man who works Saturdays at the BMV had the nerve to say two offensive things to me:

1. That the terrible picture on my temporary black and white print out will look better in color. It doesn't. And also, pictures don't work like that. My former picture was great, and I still look the same, but that's not good enough to reuse. Instead, let's use this one in which you forced me to tuck my hair behind my ears and I have a double chin. Thanks, bureaucracy.

2. The man then said to me, presumably jokingly, not to get married again before my license was up for renewal and I needed it to be secure, because of all the marriage certificates I'd have to bring then.

That's not a funny joke.
First of all, I married someone as a teenager the first time, and I made that marriage last 8 years, which is probably longer than he's collectively been employed. Secondly, it's not like I run in to the license branch every two years with some new guy I met at the bar and ran off to Vegas with. I'm an educated, professional, normal person who has remarried.

I hate that guy and my new license picture. But I love my new last name.


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