I want this to be one of those posts that I look back on in a couple weeks and think, "I was so worried about nothing!"
I don't think this will be that kind of post.
The other day my daughter and I were talking about the running hobby I've developed over the last two years. She said, "I know you love running but-" and I cut her off. "I don't love running."
I explained it like this: "remember when we redecorated your room? And it took lots of work to paint and clean and organize and put everything back together- but when we were done and you felt accomplished and like everything was better?" You know, that feeling of "ahh, this feels nice. The work was worth it." She did.
That's what running is like. The actual running sucks. It's hard and tiring, and you mostly want to be done, just like painting and cleaning. But you're in it for the "after."
So I mostly hate running. But I like the after. The feeling of accomplishing something that's hard and that I never thought I could do.
If you've read this blog you might know I'm training for my second half marathon. It's a big one, one with a time goal, and it's in Chicago which requires a trip and lodging and stuff. It's kind of a big deal to me. My second half, in a cool place, with a big accomplishment in terms of time. And I got injured.
I have tendonitis. I've tried resting it, icing it, physical therapy exercises, ibuprofen. And a week and a half after the symptoms came on, it's still bad. Really bad. I've bought an ankle brace and kinesiology tape.
Nothing makes it better.
I have a running partner that will either have to bail on the race or try to do it alone which is lame because it's OUR goal together and we've trained together. And I can barely walk, let alone walk/jog a 12 min mile.
I currently plan to walk it if I can't jog by a week from now. Which is lame because the race closing time requires you run. The course closes in three hours. And at my hobbling walk pace with a bad ankle I'm looking at 4.5-5 hours. And since I've had no relief over the last 1.5 weeks I don't expect more. And I'm sad. Really sad.
I don't want to stand on the sidelines and watch others run the race I trained for. I don't want to walk the route long after the race is over and the medals and water stations are gone and it's back to being a regular street. And I'm tired of staying home on nights I usually went to the gym since mt ankle pain doesn't even allow me to do a yoga class because it still requires me to bear weight on my foot.
I had planned for this to be my last distance race because my body was already revolting but it appears I won't even get that. My first half training had me down for two weeks with a different foot injury. There's clearly a theme.
Ever set a goal and work toward it only to be stopped from accomplishing it in the eleventh hour? Tell me about it. Misery loves company you guys.